20-week scan done and dusted, now 22 weeks and more to tell :)

Well, we had our 20-week scan the day after my surgery, on Friday 13th January and I am pleased to report that the possibly ill-omened date had no bearing on the positivity of the experience.

My surgery, a necessary procedure for the two of us, turned out to be rather more extensive and complicated than first anticipated, but both myself and, more importantly, my baby came through the anaesthetic well and I was able to be released home the same day. I had been told to expect to feel no movement from the little one for at least 24 hours following the anaesthetic, but within three hours of the operation I felt all the little kicks and movements I've grown so accustomed to - it was a wonderful feeling, almost as if my baby knew to reassure me that everything was completely okay.

When Michael and I arrived for the scan the following day, I was a bit of a mixed bag of emotions. Apprehensive in case baby was too sleepy to show movement and to have all the necessary checks done, in a lot of pain from the procedure the day before, but above all else, trembling with excitement at the thought of seeing our baby again and potentially finding out whether we were in for blue or pink! Michael was fantastic, as ever, in providing the sarky reassurance I pretend to scorn but secretly couldn't live without. He had obviously been worried about the two of us as well, but put aside his own concerns to put me at my ease and make me feel better. I don't think he realises how grateful I am for all the support and love he gives me, day in, day out :)

And lo and behold, all my worries about the baby not moving were completely unfounded - in fact, the opposite was true. The sonographer actually had to ask us to leave for ten minutes, because the baby was too active and moving around too much to let her do all of the checks. I felt some weird sense of irrational pride at this; my baby wasn't going to have her fun spoiled by a little thing like a general anaesthetic! Which probably doesn't bode well for us as her parents - her stubbornness apparent even in the womb - but it was incredibly reassuring after being warned about the possible effects the anaesthetic would have upon her.

When we went back in, baby had calmed down enough and the sonographer managed to complete all of her checks, and then she began the process of showing us our baby. The difference in the image detail from the 12-week scan was simply unbelievable; instead of some little blobs that we could just make out as identifying features, we could have no doubt that the shapes we were looking at now amounted to an almost fully-formed and perfect little baby. We saw her move, flexing and kicking out, waving at us, turning somersaults, performing possibly some of the greatest acrobatics I've seen in such a confined space. The sonographer took her time to show us every little part of our baby, from the tiny and perfect little toes, to the intricately detailed spine, to the waving arms and fingers, and finally to the best part of all, our baby's face. She let us see all the minute but entirely flawless facial features, and then amazingly, as we watched in amazement, our baby looked straight at us and proceeded to yawn. I have never seen anything like it before in my life, and I don't think I've ever felt anything move me so much either - it was a beautiful, perfect moment that had me laughing through tears of sheer surreal emotion. The best part of all of this was sharing every incredible moment with Michael, gripping his hand and watching his face light up with the biggest smile when he was looking at his child. It's a moment I don't think we'd ever be able to recreate, and I wouldn't want to try - the memory of that experience is something I will treasure forever.

And then, it came to the vital question. "Would you be able to tell us what we're having?"

The lady scanning me then had quite an extensive look at the 'area' and our baby certainly wasn't being shy. I had an inkling from all my various research into gender scanning so I sort of knew what to look for on the screen, but nothing could have prepared me for her smiling at us and calmly saying, "You're expecting a little girl." The scream that came from me at that point was one of pure glee - I was and still am utterly elated at the thought of having a daughter. I had convinced myself I was having a boy, because Michael's family had assured me that all they had was boys and most others had dismissed this pregnancy as having very little chance of providing a girl... But even though I'd tried to convince myself of boy-ness, all I had been drawn to were girly things, girly names, dreaming about having a little girl - perhaps a mother's intuition? Now, don't get me wrong, I would not have loved a little boy any less, as long as he was healthy and happy then I'd have been over the moon. But I can't lie, I was hoping for a pink bump. And I don't think anything could have hidden my obvious ecstasy in that scan booth!

I think that that knowledge, if anything, has made all of this even more 'real' for both of us now. Before, we were referring to the bump as simply that - 'Bump' or 'baby', almost as some kind of unknown entity. But now, we're able to talk about anything baby-related with the preface of 'her' or 'she'. We can recognise her as a real little person now; an individual, albeit a tiny one. I think we've both responded really well to that, and it really gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when I have a text from Michael that has something about "our daughter" casually thrown in alongside all our normal everyday chitchat. Or when we're sitting together watching television and he just sits idly stroking my belly, or decides to give her a kiss goodnight. It really hits home that  the label of 'couple' doesn't really apply to what we are to each other anymore; instead, we're a family.

So here's the scan image of our daughter at her 20-week scan:

It's a little fuzzy because of the amount of wriggling she was doing, but you can still pick out the little features, in particular her nose and lips. Just perfection!

In other news, we have found a new place to live, yay! The new house has three bedrooms, proper central heating, and a garden for spending time with our little one over the summer. We move in at the end of February and I'm already very excited - I just couldn't relax before, in the knowledge that we might have to 'settle' somewhere undesirable and I didn't want to have to do that to our baby. We have also now got all of the big essentials sorted; pram, cot and moses basket have already been paid for and delivered. For that, I have my dad and Mandy to thank for the lovely Quinny pram, and my mum and John to thank for the gorgeous furniture. My mum has been pretty indispensable throughout my pregnancy - it's been a really tough pregnancy and I'm not going to lie, I have really struggled a lot of the time. But between Michael and my mum, I have always managed to find some strength and positivity, and I hope one day they will understand the massive amounts of gratitude I feel for that.

I'm going to do a few other posts today, mainly with pictures, but I think I'm also going to try some posts about the actual experiences and emotions I'm feeling at the moment. Currently, I'm not sure this blog is as comprehensive a diary as I'd like it to be, so I'm going to attempt to change that. I'm going to try a few pregnancy-related musings and observations, and if anyone has anything in particular they'd like to see me write about, I'd love to hear any and all suggestions.

Thanks for reading, folks :)